Facebook Status: I’m not messy. I’m creatively organized.

Facebook Status: If you really want to see who someone is as a person, watch them using slow internet.

Facebook Status: I came here to avoid friends on other social media.

Facebook Status: Not Gen Z calling Millennials cringe while cosplaying our entire 1990s wardrobe.

Facebook Status: I’m not addicted to my phone, we’re just in a committed relationship.

Facebook Status: I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry.