WhatsApp Status: My mood is entirely dependent on how recently I’ve eaten and nobody warned me this is what adulthood would be.

WhatsApp Status: Just talked myself out of a purchase. This is character development. Please acknowledge it.

WhatsApp Status: My five love languages are: food, naps, cancelled plans, dogs and being told everything is going to be fine.

WhatsApp Status: Currently giving 100%. 40% tired. 30% hungry. 20% wondering what that noise was. 10% actual effort.

WhatsApp Status: I bring a lot to the table. Mostly snacks. But also emotional support and very strong opinions about nothing important.

WhatsApp Status: The only running I do is late. And I’m very consistent at it.